Today started out like many other days for me. I did some dishes. I worked on some school lessons with my son. I had lunch. I picked up- and then I discovered that I had been lied to again. I hate being lied to more than just about anything else. And I had been lied to horribly and in a heart breaking way. When I confronted the offender the lies continued until the evidence showed that the truth had to come out. Imagine, continuing to lie when you know you are getting busted. And then the apologies started. "I'm so sorry" uttered over and over again. And then the ever present it's all your fault type of talk. But you know what? It wasn't my fault. I didn't do anything to make that lie escape those lips. In fact, I tend to forgive much more than I should and so there was no way a lie was required to cover up that weakness.
I am struggling now. I am struggling with wondering what to do about that. How many times do you place yourself in a position to be hurt? When Jesus was asked how many times you should forgive me said something along the lines of 70 times 7. Really he was just saying that we should forgive and forgive and then when we can't forgive anymore we forgive again. And so I will. I will forgive the lies I discovered today. But... I have to draw a line with staying in the situation to be lied to and hurt again.
And I have to say I am who I am. I can not be any better a person than I am today for the sake of making this one person not lie to me. Does that make sense? I can't struggle and fight every day to be the ideal just so that perhaps they will value me enough to not lie to me. I just can't. And so, if being less than ideal isn't good enough- well let me know. Just please- don't go breakin' my heart!
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