A call for justice in the murder of a child

On August 20, 2009 my friend Molly gave birth to a little boy.  On September 8, 2010 she said goodbye to him.  After days of watching her little bug suffer through a stroke and major brain damage her son, Cory Francis Sechtin, left her life.  He was barely a year old.  As my little boy approaches a year old I look at him and think of Molly and Cory. 

I think of how Molly must have felt when she got the phone call that Cory was injured.  I think of those days that she spent by his side wanting what could only be considered a miracle.  I think of all the things that she will miss with him because he is gone.  She will never see him run or hit a baseball.  She will never get to hold his hand (or be told not to hold his hand) on the way to his first day of school.  She will never find out if he is a dunker or a twister of Oreos.  She will never have the opportunity to love or hate his first girlfriend.  She will never cheer him on at a ball game or a concert.  She will never help him with his homework.  She will miss kindergarten, middle school, high school and college graduations.  She will never know what kind of big brother he would be.  She will never have grand kids that look exactly him.  She will never embarrass him by taking 6 million pictures of him with his prom date.  She will never teach him to ride a bike or a skateboard.  She will never hear him sing or say, "I love you so much Mom!"  She will miss so many large moments and a million little moments.  She has been robbed of her little boy.

There is only moment left for her to have with Cory.  That moment is the arrest of his murderer.  Yes, I said murderer. There have more days since Cory's death than Cory had in life.  What a sad thought.  Molly has had to wait 18 months for the prosecutor to hold Cory's murderer responsible.  She has waited over a year for the world to hear about how the husband of her child's daycare provider/babysitter shook her baby to death.

I am amazed that no one has taken note of Cory's life, and death.  Where are the million binky marches for Cory?  Where are the groups putting up pictures of Cory's killer and demanding justice?  Where are the phone calls to the prosecutors office demanding he open the case file and get things moving?  Where are the celebrities and sports teams crying out for Cory?

Well, I am crying out for Cory and for Molly.  Won't you join me?  You can start by clicking here and liking her page.  From there Molly will keep you updated on the status of the case and what you can do to help demand justice for a little boy whose future was stolen from him.

*Edit* At the same time that I was writing this post another friend of Molly's wrote up a petition on Change.org to go to the office of the prosecutor responsible for the delay in prosecution.  If you would like to go straight to the petition from here click here.  Thanks!

Now it's time to say goodbye...

to breastfeeding the baby :(

A few weeks ago I had my first prenatal appointment for the new baby.  Everything went great.  They did an ultrasound so we got the baby's first picture.  Everything seems to be progressing nicely.  The doctor did make my due date October 30 because the baby measured in at only 7 weeks gestational but other than that little shocker things went almost exactly as we expected.  I should add about the date change that the doctor said that is entirely normal for breastfeeding mommas of young kids.  Since that makes menstruation and ovulation sporadic sometimes counting from the last normal period doesn't work so great. 

And then he told me to wean.  He said that he doesn't want the breastfeeding to cause uterine contractions once I am in to my second trimester.  By the time he sees me again Will needs to be completely weaned.  Now, Will was 11 months at the time.  Honestly, we were coming up to the time when I was considering weaning anyway.  At his 9 month check up his pediatrician said he could start drinking cow's milk when I was ready to give it to him.  And, considering I have never before been able to breastfeed one of my babies, I am pleased as punch that I had this experience with him.  BUT somehow I am still sad to think of forcing him to stop.  I expected him to say, "No thanks Mom, I think I'll have an apple juice instead."

That has yet to happen.  I am diligently cutting down on the breast milk availability.  He is down to twice a day.  He can have it once during the day and once near bedtime.  He doesn't nurse himself to sleep but he does fill up on it a little before he gets ready for bed to help him sleep well.  And every time I give him access to them he looks like he just found his lost best friend.  It is so sweet and bittersweet.  I love how happy something I alone can do for him makes him but I hate that soon that will be gone for him.  Soon his daytime feeding will go away.  And then his night feeding. 

I feel so blessed to be pregnant again.  And I am going to do, as always, everything I can to keep this little one inside me growing and developing well.  This time it just kind of makes me sad as well.  But hey, maybe for a few months my boobs will belong to me again! 

By the numbers

I don't know about anyone else but my brain often thinks in numbers and adding a new baby has really got me thinking numbers!

4: the number of kids I will have
6: the number of people in my family
5: the number of people my car holds
8: the number of months til my car is paid off
7: the number of months til the baby is due
4: the number of bedrooms in my house
4: the number of people that can sit at my kitchen table
2: the number of chairs I could add to my dining room table
9: the number of months old Will was when I got pregnant with the new baby
12 yrs, 7 yrs, 18 mos: the ages of my children when the new baby comes
3: the number of guys in my house (ahhh the testosterone)
65: the average number of hours a week that hubby works
5: the average number of hours of sleep I get at night
100: the approximate number of pictures I already have on display in my house
5: the number of years behind I am in my scrapbooking


Some of those are rather overwhelming until the second half of the thought enters my mind.
4: the number of kids I will have, and that makes me so happy!
6: the number of people in my family.  Who would have thought an only child would get to have such a large family!
5: the number of people my car holds, but it's only an issue a few days a month and I have wanted a larger vehicle for a while anyway
8: the number of months til my car is paid off, and really, how fortuitous is that?  It is so great that we are so close!
7: the number of months til the baby is due and most everything we would need to do is still one from Will!
4: the number of bedrooms in my house, but the idea of kids having their own rooms is a 21st century thought.  Growing up with a roommate will really help the kids learn to deal with other people.
4: the number of people that can sit at my kitchen table but since hubby never gets to eat breakfast or lunch with us and kiddo is rarely here most of the time we'll be fine.  And that will just encourage us to use the dining room!
2: the number of chairs I could add to my dining table, and that would be perfect!  And maybe getting those chairs will mean I get to finish the dining room!
9: the number of months old Will was when I got pregnant with the new baby and it's nice to think how close they will be.
12 yrs, 7 yrs, 18 mos: how old my kids will be when the new baby is born.  How amazing is that?
3: the number of guys in my house.  And I have survived so surely I will survive if this baby is also a boy!
65: the average number of hours hubby works per week.  It's hard to be upbeat with this one, but I guess at least he is employed?
5: the average number of hours of sleep I get per night.  Usually I really don't mind that because Will is so cute when I go in to put hum back to sleep.  Additionally, Justin and my body have both been trying to increase that number.
100: the approximate number of pictures I already have on display in my house.  That's right- I have had that many cute pictures or great memories made. 
5: the number of years behind I am in my scrapbooking, but that just means that for 5 years I have made more great memories than I have had down time to put on paper.

When I look at everything that way I have to add one more number.
0: the number of times I have wanted to change the timing of this baby.

A one scene announcement

Location: Outside Jim Oliver's Smokehouse on Monteagle Mountain
Time: Sunday afternoon

Me:  Boogie, Gigi got to help you with your lessons to see how well you're doing, but she and PopPop don't know how well you are doing with ASL.  Let's show them!
Boogie:  Uh... OK
Me (signing): a
Boogie: a
Me: k
Boogie: k
Me: 11
Boogie: 11
Me: 55
Boogie: 55
Me: Dad
Boogie: Dad
Me: Girl
Boogie: Girl
Me: Mom
Boogie: Mom
Me: Pregnant
Boogie: Huh?  I don't know that one.
Me (speaking): What do you think it is?
Boogie: Pregnany maybe?
Me:  Right!  Good job. Soooo... (signing again) Mom pregnant
Boogie: Mom pregnant
Me: Mom pregnant
Boogie (looking thoroughly confused): Mom Prgenant
Me (leaning in and whispering): Mom's pregnant!
Boogie: You're pregnant? (screaming)  You're having a baby!  I'm going to get those hundred babies I want!  Yay!

So to make a short story even shorter: We are pregnant and very happy to be pregnant!

Sometimes I fail and win at once

I have a confession.  I completely lost my patience today.  Will was tired and rubbing his eyes.  I kept trying to help him go to sleep.  He just wouldn't sleep.  There are days when he wants to be with Boogie so much that he will fight anything to be able to have even just one more minute with him.  I thought that if I took Will to his room then I would be able to snuggle him or put him in his bed to rest.  Apparently, out of sight is not out of mind!  I, for the first time in his life, put him down to cry.  After a few minutes I went back to rock him and cuddle him and help him reach the rest I could tell he needed.  It worked.  I felt a smile in my heart as I watched him begin to drift into sleep.  In all the battle had lasted an hour.  And then, in walked Boogie.  Immediately Will was wide awake and clamoring for his big brother.  Immediately all the time and work was for naught.  And it frustrated me.

I sat Will with Boogie and told Boog that since he wouldn't just let me get Will to rest then Will could be his responsibility.  I thought that Boog would experience Will's exhaustion and decide that maybe he doesn't have to come and "check" on me all the time.  Instead Will was delighted to be with Boog and Boog was not at all put out!  After a few minutes I reminded Boog that he still had more school work to do, more learning to accomplish.  He was not phased in the least.  Thirty seconds later  I heard the very familiar sound of his voice.  When I focused in I realized he was reading.  He was reading to his baby brother, accomplishing both entertaining Will and practicing a skill. 

The lesson I wanted to teach him failed miserably.  I failed miserably at getting Will to sleep.  And yet, my family won.  My Boogie and my baby won.  And that means I win too.

Rockin'

It is 2:15 am and I just finished putting Will back to bed.  It was the second time he had gotten up tonight.  I keep thinking that soon he will sleep through the night, but I also don't expect it.  I know that by this time my other kids were sleeping through the night and I can't, for my life, remember how that happened.  I have read all sorts of advice on how to get him to sleep longer but I just can't bring myself to attempt them. 

The advice all seems to require me to allow him to cry it out some.  Some recommend just letting him cry himself back to sleep, supposedly thereby making him teach himself to self soothe.  Some recommend that I allow him to cry for a while so that gradually it will be longer between wake ups. I just can't do those.  Every time I think maybe I will attempt it I think about my friend's little boy.

Two years ago a friend of mine adopted one of the world's sweetest children from the Ukraine.  Children in orphanages in the Ukraine, and many other countries, don't get rocked to sleep.  No one sings to them at night or reads them bedtime stories.  There are no loving cuddles, tickles or kisses.  Actually, those things are true all day long for those little angels.  Consequently, when she first brought him home he would rock himself to sleep (or just to being calm) any time he was upset or when he needed to go to sleep.  Can you imagine watching your child feel the need to curl up in a ball and rock themselves? 

Now, Will gets lots of love.  I hold him when he asks me and sometimes when he doesn't ask me too.  I sing to him.  I read to him.  I play games and act a fool.  He gets a million things that those children don't get.  I don't for a minute think he will be as deprived as those children if, for one night, I let him "cry it out."  I do, however, look at him and think that, at least for as long he is a baby, I don't want to give him even one reason to rock himself. 

So, for now, I guess I will just keep getting up every few hours to be Will's personal record player and rocking chair with built in pillows.

Baker's Dozen

If you have come around my house at Christmastime then you know that I bake and bake and bake throughout the holiday season.  This Christmas was no different.  Actually,  I even added a few things to my baking list.  As I was baking I kept thinking, "My goodness.  I am making a baker's dozen of types of things!"  Little did I know how wrong I was.  I actually made 19 different goodies.  I made:
1. Crinkle Cookies
2. Dipped Pretzel Rods (decorated by Boog)
3. Candied Noodles
4. Dipped Ritz
5. Peanut Butter Cookies
6. Gingerbread Men
7. Toffee Cookies
8. Butterscotch and Chocolate Chip Cookies
9. Chocolate Mint Chip Cookies
10. Chocolate Peanut Butter Chip Cookies
11. Chocolate Fudge
12. Peanut Butter Fudge
13. Dipped Crinkle Cookies
14. Peanut Brittle
15. Mint Chocolate Bark
16. Painted Sugar Cookies
17. Candy Cane Cookies
18. Party Mix
19. Chocolate Covered Cherry Cookies
Over the course of this years baking I actually learned a few things.  See, even an old dog can learn new tricks! 
1. I ADORE parchment paper!
2. Publix parchment paper is better than name brand!  The name brand would brown up quickly but the Publix parchment paper kept going and going!
3. You can use parchment paper when making peanut brittle.  My whole life we have greased the pan so the peanut brittle would come out.  On a whim I decided to try the parchment paper.  Oh, how wonderfully it worked!  And there wasn't any of the extra grease to deal with afterwards!  Woot Woot!
4. Never try to just split an egg yolk for two different cookie paints.  Just use two eggs, even if that means going to the store to buy another dozen!
5. Unbleached flour is wonderful.  I always figured it would make my cookies darker than I like them to look.  I was WRONG!  Seriously, it made them beautiful and has the added benefit of being unbleached.  I bought it by mistake because I was hurrying but I will always buy it in the future!
6. Nothing at all sticks to parchment paper.  No seriously, all the things that I used to have to scrub forever just brushed off the parchment paper.  It was glorious!
7. I always have to automatically make double batches of each cookie, otherwise there aren't any left from boys "testing" them.
8. Always use the Ulu to cut the fudge!  Hubby says the fudge has never been easier to cut straight out of the fridge.  He loved it, so I love it!
Overall, I used; 40 eggs,17 pounds of sugar, 12 pounds of flour, 10 bags of baking chips (6 different types!), 8 pounds of butter, 7 cans of milk, 6 boxes of cereal, 5 pounds of nuts, 4 jars of sprinkles, 3 bags of pretzels, 2 jars of cherries and an entire bottle of vanilla extract.  That could almost be my own version of the 12 days of Christmas! 

But Christmas is over now.  The oven has gone back to cooking more dinners than desserts.  My stove cooks more soups than candies now.  At least for a while!