After the wean

I have, over the past year, loosely chronicled my first time being a breastfeeding mom.  And I told you a while ago that the doctor had instructed me to wean Will.  Honestly, I thought my breastfeeding posts would end then.  I was wrong, at least partly.

On Will's birthday he nursed for the last time.  We had been gradually tapered down but I knew going from one to none would be a lot harder for us both than any of the other tapers.  For his last feeding I turned off all distractions and just focused on him, on that last time of getting to provide for him what no one else could.  It made me cry and somehow he seemed to understand because he drank for a long time that night.  When he was done I convinced myself that in a week or two he would forget what he was missing.

I mean, he's a baby.  Babies don't have long memories, right?  So far I have been wrong.  The other day Will was brought to me right after my shower.  I hadn't yet gotten dressed but he was upset so I began to snuggle him.  He calmed down, smiled at me and then began to slowly lean toward me like he wanted a hug.  It was no hug that he was reaching for!  He tried to latch on!  Silly baby! 

Last night Hubby had a horrible headache.  Now, he has been responsible for taking care of Will at night for a few reasons.  The first reason is that when we were weaning we needed him to be a buffer between Will and the milk.  He would work to get Will back to sleep without milk.  The second reason is that I am pregnant and, quite frankly, completely exhausted ALL THE TIME!  The third being that it is already uncomfortable for me to put Will to bed.  My baby belly makes my arms to short to reach his mattress!But, as I said, Hubby had a headache last night. 

I decided I would take Will for the night and allow Hubby to get in some really good rest.  He desperately needed a full night's sleep.  Oh my- Will has not forgotten those night time feedings.  As I tried to cuddle him to sleep Will just kept trying to rip my nightgown off.  He hit me in the face when he couldn't gain access to his favorite feeding trough.  Finally he latched on to the soft skin on the inside of my elbow and went to sleep.  All I could think was oh my!  When he awoke after some rest he did the exact same sequence again.

I just keep wondering when he will stop wanting to nurse.  I really didn't expect him to still crave it after weeks of it being gone.  Perhaps I am the silly one and that is completely common.  I don't know.  But as much as it saddens me to not be able to provide that for him I also revel in the thought that he really loved being a breastfed baby.  OK, so maybe I am definitely a silly mommy!